Actually an Artist

Advent III is joy. On an Advent wreath, there are four candles, three purple ones and one pink one (sometimes a white candle is in the middle-lit on Christmas for Jesus). The joy candle is the pink one-symbolic of the foreshadowing of Christmas in the midst of the penitence of Advent. If that seems archaic to you that’s because it is-in the Early Church, Lent was the only church season, one of preparation, self-denial, and spiritual renewal. Modeled off of Jesus’s forty days in the wilderness before he started his ministry, Lent was a time for preparing converts (catechumen) for Easter and admission into the Church. Mid-Lent, or Lent IV, was a lessening or change from penitence to joy. The Pope would give roses, often pink, and thus pink became the symbolic color of joy. When Advent was created at the end of the fifth century, Lent was the model and a joy Sunday included in the otherwise somber Advent.

Thinking about joy in the midst of wars, genocides, hunger, and so much needless suffering is a tall order for me this year. This was my mental state as I listened in on several older, white, well-off gentlemen talking, in what was apparently a Bible study discussing Mary, mother of Jesus. One man (north of 60, for sure), said in his mind Mary was 18, maybe 17. I may very well be half this man’s age, but my biblical learning has been pretty good and I am fairly confident that it is fairly well known that Mary was early teens at most at the time she had Jesus. Scholars say 11-14 is the accepted range for girls to be married off and having babies in this particular day, age, and social standing. Any older and she would have been seen as damaged goods somehow. How then could I account for his blatant (willful?) ignorance? Anyway, that’s when the word “comfort” popped into my consciousness: I was walking away and singing the tune for my postlude later that day, Comfort, Comfort Ye My People. And then my stream of consciousness connected that back to my befuddlement at this older man who was trying to make Mary out to be of legal age. I think there’s a deep cultural discomfort with the historical realities surrounding the birth of Jesus. Well, and life, death, teachings… really there’s a lot there in the story of Jesus to be uncomfortable with, and everyone’s uncomfortable with something! Anyway, the only way some of us can engage with it is to put it into our context (she’s 18 so it’s cool!) and call that truth. It’s easier to lie to ourselves than wrestle with faith, doubt, belief, fiction, fact, and spirituality. And it’s easier to imagine our god (little-g, not God) in our image, rather than in the image of Everyone. Or, put another way, as someone or something completely unknowable and ununderstandable, especially if we cling to our present context!

This idea of comfort on Gaudete, or Joy Sunday is particularly interesting. It’s sort of built-in to the season, isn’t it! I imagine a fifth century committee meeting to discuss how there’s too much purple and blue before Christmas and it’s a real downer, ‘people need some sort of break!’ I actually agree with that committee-we do need a break from the penitence and waiting and hoping. Contrasts teach us about our present reality. And because Advent isn’t a comfortable place to be. We ARE in the “soon but not yet” in every sense, and that’s harder than being far away! As a mom of a five year old I can tell you thoughts of Christmas in December are much stronger than in May. It’s not even on his radar in May. When we know things could be better than they are, impatience is almost always just around the bend. Not just impatience but anxiety, frustration, falling apart, and more. Calling this feeling “impatience” is almost too sanitized for my taste-there’s deep longing and suffering that people hope to have healed. I don’t care for Joy Sunday though when we aren’t really embracing that journey and aren’t acknowledging the discomforts all around us. Where I am, Christmas starts before Thanksgiving is even over, and while culturally that’s what it is, in our spiritual lives we have to get more comfortable with discomfort. I believe strongly that church should be comforting the suffering and upsetting the comfortable. I think that’s what frustrated me about what I overheard in that Bible study-it’s clear that many do not choose the discomfort. In fact, our systems and our communities aren’t making that a goal to accompany people on. Instead, our culture, systems, and churches are actively seeking a short-cut OUT of the hard realities. We ALL have our pet discomforts we won’t touch until it comes to a head-I certainly do! Although I’m feeling personally piqued by some old white dude sanitizing the Christmas Story for his own comfort, I can’t actually say for sure if that’s what was going on, nor can I honestly condemn him for that-I have just as many things I cling to that are more for my comfort than they are reflective of reality. It’s why things had to completely fall apart for me to see just how untenable staying at my job was getting-I did not want to accept the discomfort, anxiety, and trauma triggers in giving my job and starting something new. Sigh. Recently on my favorite contemplative podcast, they were talking about how contemplation is really just taking a ‘long, loving look’ at the real, and acknowledging it without changing or trying to control it. It is real that we all succumb to avoiding the real. And contemplation can help us wade into waters of discomfort without drowning in the waves.

All of us have different pain points which is really a good thing. It means we can comfort the afflicted when we aren’t triggered thinking about a mere girl bearing God, and knowing more about God than any of us at that age (look up the Magnificat-it’s fantastic). And when we’re triggered by our things, maybe that man I’ve picked on a bit would be the person to step in and support you or me. I’ve been triggered by the same things as my husband enough times in our marriage to know we all definitely need to switch off from time to time. 😩😂

Anyway, I hope you enjoy these musical selections on comfort and joy. And please tell me what brings you comfort and joy when things around you seem to be falling out from under you.