Actually an Artist

Daily writing prompt

Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.

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My kiddos are amazing little humans. And they are both very attached, as in, hardly get any breathing space attached. Lots of little kids are like this, but I have a growing sense that what I experience on the day-to-day is a little more extra than is typical. Additionally, they are not good sleepers. At the end of the day my husband and I could be fighting these realities, we could escort each to his and her bed, eventually losing patience as they still can’t sleep. We could tuck them in again and again, adjusting this pillow or that one. In the middle of the night, we could get them a drink of water then walk them back to bed, over and over, eventually seeing the start of dawn. But we don’t do that. We cuddle each of them in their beds till they fall asleep peacefully. We usually are able to keep our patience for this, but when one of us needs to switch children, we switch. Because all the rolling around or talking or stimming can be completely overstimulating by the end of the day.

Each of my kids has a particular way they like to be cuddled before bed. And each of these is precious to me. That’s not to say that sometimes I just wish it were easier, but having a mindfulness practice in these times helps immensely, and although I’m not perfect at it (who is!), I stop myself to smell their hair, listen to their breathing as it becomes more rhythmic, and think about all we’ve been through together already, and all that I hope for them in the future. My kids are growing so quickly, as little ones do, and sinking into this chapter is so helpful because it connects me to joy and gratitude for the time I have, rather than restlessness and frustration for what I could be doing and having at the end of the day. Like me time. I miss watching my own shows or doing my own crafts. It would be great to get to the end of the day and not feel completely depleted. It would be nice to have children who were happily reading to themselves for thirty minutes before lights out, and who were content with a hug and a kiss goodnight. But no, that’s not where we’re at. Maybe we will be, and I will be thankful for that. But I will miss the moments they pressed their tiny bodies against mine and found me to be their greatest comfort and sense of safety. So I live in the middle of many opposites, but I find joy in these little ones.